Living Through Solitude: Reflections Born from the Philosophical Dialogue of Soyo and Rilke

Soyo’s Existence Ethics Essay

Solitude, Room, and Mirror

Rilke once said, “Solitude is the room we must look into.” Solitude starts as a refuge—a hiding place from the world, from people, even from emotions too heavy to bear. Yet if we stay too long, solitude stops being a refuge and becomes a prison. Shutting the door and refusing to face solitude traps us and drains our vitality.

But solitude also becomes a mirror. If we do not avoid it and look into it honestly, solitude

reveals our truest face. Loneliness is not merely just a lack, but the light of awareness that makes me who I am. Thus, solitude is not fear but a window to discovering one’s own being.

The Paradox of Solitude and Love

Rilke saw solitude not merely as an individual’s fate but as the beginning of love. He said,

“Love is the courage to be solitary first, in order to protect another person.”

This statement contains a profound paradox. Love is not simply driven by the impulse to

stay close. Rather, it begins with the courage to stand alone. Love that depends solely on the

other’s presence inevitably degenerates into dependence. Only when we fully embrace

ourselves, endure loneliness, and learn to stand alone can we open ourselves genuinely to

another.

Only those who can endure solitude can hear the cry of the other who is also within

solitude. Thus, solitude is both preparation and condition for love. Love without solitude

easily grasps at the other and tries to define them in one’s own terms. But love that has

passed through solitude sets the other free, while at the same time embracing them more

deeply.

The Ethics of Silence and the Dialogue of Existence

Soyo's Existence Ethics teaches that human language must always carry silence within it.

Words often blur truth and leave scars in relationships. But silence is not mere absence—it

is the ground of language. Only within silence do words gain weight.

Silence in solitude may deepen loneliness, yet it also allows us to hear the voice of existence

within: “You are still alive. You are afraid, but even that fear is proof that you exist.”

Rilke’s dialogue reminds us of this. Silence is not indifference to the other but the deepest

way of being with them. Two people may gaze silently at the wind outside the window, and

in that silence, they feel each other’s presence even more vividly. This is the ethics of silence

and the dialogue of existence.

The Interpretation of Solitude in Existence Ethics

Soyo's Existence Ethics interprets solitude in three dimensions:

1. The solitude of the self – the room where one faces oneself, the place of asking about the

origin of existence.

2. The solitude for the other – the courage to empty oneself first, the choice to set the other

free for the sake of love.

3. The solitude before God – the confession of human destiny, standing alone before the

silence of eternity.

These three solitudes are not separate but flow into one another. When I embrace my own

solitude, I become able to choose solitude for the other, and that solitude is ultimately

fulfilled before the call of God.

Solitude as the Testimony of Existence

Solitude both imprisons and strengthens us. It is not fear but testimony—evidence that I am

still alive, that I still hold the possibility of loving someone.

Therefore, Soyo’s Existence Ethics declares, “Solitude is not a prison that destroys human

existence but a testimony that lifts the soul.”

Rilke’s dialogue reminds us of this anew. Love is not merely staying close but begins in the

courage to stand alone. Silence is not the shadow of loneliness but the deepest language by

which beings feel one another.

Today, we must not avoid solitude but receive it as life’s teacher. Only those who endure

solitude can love; only those who preserve silence can speak the language of existence.

Solitude is not the wall that imprisons me but the window that reveals me. Silence is not the

emptiness that destroys me but the ethic that restores me. Love is not merely the joy of

connection but the maturity nurtured within solitude. Thus, Soyo's Existence Ethics

proclaims solitude not as fear but as testimony: “Your solitude exists to make you truly

yourself.”

Soyo (逍遙), Founder of Soyo’s Existence Ethics. Author of "The Silence of Existence" and "The Flame of Truth".

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